“A Rose by any other name” an essay, by Julie Quintana
She sat in her wheel chair, all alone and far away from the other diners. Facing a window that had it blinds closed to her. “What kind of view was that?” I thought to myself. As others filtered in and out of the dining room, her back was towards the aisle and she could not see them. Some walked by without so much as a glance to her. Others greeted her but continued on their way without stopping or knowing if she had heard.
I could only watch her as I had to continue on with attention to the other people in the dining room. My heart was torn between doing my duties to the residents seated in my area or on walking over to see her. I kept this in my troubled mind as I busily ran from the kitchen to the dining area.
I was working in the dining room of a large senior living center. My job entailed to take drink and food orders from the residents as they sat at the tables. The seniors came and went within a two-hour dining window. In the beginning of my shift, it was slow and relaxed. I could visit with them as they inquired about the menu of the day. We enjoyed small talk and I got to know most residents over the few weeks I had been there. They usually sat at the same tables, with the same group of friends and remembering their first names were highly encouraged. As more and more residents entered, the pace grew to a faster rate. Serving drinks, taking orders, delivering dinners and refilling drinks. It was sometimes hectic. There was a brief lull as the seniors sat blissfully talking to each other and eating their meals. Then came the serving of desserts then clearing the tables. Back and forth into the kitchen many times in one meal preparation.
I had first heard about a certain senior that was bedridden. I had delivered packages and mail to her room from time to time when I was covering the front desk duties. Those few times when I entered her room, I noticed that she was usually sleeping in her bed, so I quietly left the letters or packages on the dresser. I really never met Rose until weeks later when she was wheeled into the dining room. She usually had an assigned caregiver that ordered and helped her with her meals. At times, the caregiver was given the task to look after several others, so Rose was left at her table, sometimes to eat her dinner alone.
One evening, during a lull, I took a moment and walked over to Rose’s table. She was strapped in her chair and had little mobility. I placed a hand on her weathered arm and bent down to greet her at eye level. I watched as she looked up with soft blue eyes. Her face had been wrinkled over time. I asked her if there was anything, I could get for her. In doing this, I also glanced at her table. She sat with a plate of food that was hardly touched except for some food that was scattered between the plate and the edge of the table. Surely, this was the work of an unsteady hand. My heart broke. Had she been trying to feed herself with little success? Her glass of punch was almost empty with the help of straw. At least she wouldn’t go thirsty. I reached for the glass and signaled that I would refill it for her. Hurriedly, I scrambled toward the beverage cart. As I poured her drink, I was called by numerous other requests for drinks, desserts and clearing place settings from other diners. I wished I could continue with Rose’s visit, but all I could do was deliver her drink then get back to the others.
I knew that it would be a while before I could clear enough time to sit with this dear soul. Glancing at her spot, I could see that a caregiver was now helping her, which lightened my worries immensely.
It would be several days before my next shift and seeing Rose again. Luckily, on this Wednesday evening, there were two other servers on duty. This meant that, if by chance, Rose were to come back, someone could give her added attention. I continued with my job and served the residents as needed. She was wheeled in later that evening. Something in my heart called me to attend to her myself. I cleared it with the other servers and walked over to her. She was sitting in front of her dinner plate. I announced myself and spoke to her. I made small talk as I sat near her. She looked at me but I didn’t know if she actually heard what I was saying. I asked if she needed help with her dinner. She looked up and slightly nodded. I gave her small bites and continued speaking with her. During those few minutes, I waited while she swallowed each bite. I greeted residents as they passed us by. When I looked back to her, I asked if she wanted more dinner. She looked at me so sweetly then, I noticed a tear on her cheek. I took the cloth napkin and gently dabbed her face. My heart was hers. In those few minutes, she had made rekindle the dream of service that God placed in my heart. A dream that had always felt, but put on the back burner for another day. I had faith that there would come a time when “…I would lose myself in the service of others.”
In the next shift, when I saw the caregiver wheel her in, I asked if they could position her chair so she could see others as they walked by. I did notice that as some of the other seniors came through they greeted Rose. I didn’t see her much after that and she didn’t come to the dining hall often.
I have since left that job but she will always have a part of my heart. I am now trying to be of service to others and if I’m lucky maybe I can touch people like Rose has touched me.
AARP Andrus Award 2023
Presented February 22, 2024
I was awarded this prestigious award for “Volunteer Of The Year” I was given a Nambe silver platter and a Glass “star” trophy. It was presented at a luncheon at Ranchitos Village Community Center, Albuquerque, NM on February 23, 2024. Many of the Ranchitos Community was there, as well as some of my family. We enjoyed a catered lunch following the presentation. I did say s few words to commemorate my appreciation. Here is the text of my speech: “I am a born collector. One of the things I collect are quotes that touch my heart. I have a notebook, actually many notebooks, that are filled with words that inspire me. Here is one: Helping one person might not change the whole world but it could change the world for one person I want to start by thanking GOD. He planted a seed in my heart long ago. Although it didn’t take root right away, my faith cultivated it. I next want to thank my two sons, who are kind, wonderful and are so supportive. They listened and listened to my ideas. They help me grow as a person and give me perspective. I know they will always be in my heart, in fact, they are my heart. My greatest achievements. I also want to thank my family, some who are here today. My mom and dad, my sister and my niece. They have been with me throughout my life struggles and joys They are an important part of my past, present and future. Thank you for your support. Then, I would like to thank AARP. You created this award and chose me to represent volunteers everywhere who try and give others a part of themselves. I am humbled to accept this award and will try to make a difference. To Ranchitos Village-Stephanie. You welcomed me from the very beginning. You let me talk about my crazy ideas and stood behind me into making a difference. I will always appreciate your kindness. Your are my “cheerleader”! Lastly, I want to thank the residents of Ranchitos Village. You opened up your lives and let me in. You share with me and each other. Your smiles and support mean more to me then you’ll ever know. Your are a part of that seed that GOD planted and you changed my world. Thank you all.”